Yesterday I road some walking trails with my gravel+ bike. It was doable, but miserable. Those trails provide two kinds of pleasure, the sensory experience of just being in the absolute wild, and the thrill of being able to ride extremely technical terrain and not lose (the rest) of your teeth, sort of like mogul skiing, or bike messengering. The problem is that these two amazing sources of enjoyment are diametrically opposed to each other. You cannot participate in both at the same time. If you momentarily focus on a pretty tree or cloud instead of the most enjoyable technical line possible, or “cleaning” that impossible hill, you end up breaking your body somehow. The enjoyment of master these technical challenges comes from the absolute zen of being one with trail, picking the perfect line, and being physically able to execute it. Any distration—including cute bunnies hopping across the trail—detracts from that type of enjoyment in that moment, like my favorite paved trail in August after a rainstorm completely filled with frogs making those hill climbs that much harder. I love frogs, just not when I’m pushing for a Strava segment PR. The point is many of us try to mix these types of enjoyment and end up not reaching our maximum fun levels because of it. I know I have.
I’ve always been a roadie at heart. High-speed crits were my first love but later I realized I just want to cover massie miles with interesting things to look at. Sure I love a good moutain-bike downhill and popping off all those jumps. Adrenaline is fun. But perhaps as I aged I realized it’s about the experience on the bike, moving along the scenic landscapes and taking in everything all around. Some people call it “tourism” others “adventure” but for me it’s just being outside on a bike and taking time to enjoy the sights, smells, food possibilities, and people along the way.
And another thing, sleeping on the ground isn’t fun, it’s objectively less pleasurable than sleeping in an actual bed. It’s incotrovertable science. Sure it’s something people do to ensure they can have fun in other ways, but the act of sleeping on a minimal pad, with bugs all around a tent or bivy, in potential rainstorms, wondering if you did your food right to avoid death by Grizzly. I’m sorry. It is not fun. All those pretty pictures of people sipping coffee just outside their tent with pituresque landscapes are fiction designed to sell you something. Sure it’s wonderful to be in those places, but it does not require the level of sacrifice so many would-be-tough-guys would have you believe. The dirtiest of secrets of all those amazing Tour Divide competitors is that they don’t ever camp outside on the ground if they can help it. The stay in the biggest, fanciest hotel with the best food and most comfortable bed they can find. Because they know that recoverying from a 100+ days getting rattled on gravel roads is worth every penny they spend on it.
So no, don’t feel ashamed that your ability to suffer unnecessarily doesn’t match up with the ultra-dude who now has permenant nerve damage, or the other ones that died in the 30s from biking it stupidly unsafe places. Accept that going slow and literally smelling the flowers along safe local trails and roads not 10 minutes from your home is every bit as meaningful and enjoyable. And you might live a few more decades because of it.