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My Mormon pioneer ancestors can GO FUCK THEMSELVES!

I used to feel immense guilt for leaving the Mormon cult because of my lack of respect for my pioneer ancestors who “sacrificed so much” for their convictions. Then I got a fucking clue.

These complete assholes abandoned their families and good prospects in Europe to join a cult in America. It’s one thing to believe something strongly. It’s quite another to force the deaths of your entire family because of your “convictions.”

My most famous ancestor, Nicholas Muhlestein, actually buried every fucking child he had in the sea or frozen graves while forcing them to trek across frozen American plains just to join the cult. How fucking stupid and uncaring do you have to be to sit there watching your infant not get enough nutrients on the ship and just waste away dead. I’m sure they felt grief, but did it stop them? Oh no, they had to kill off the rest of their fucking family before they even got to Utah. No problem, I’ll take an extra wife and make tons more babies to replace the ones I murdered indirectly by forcing to do this crazy shit.

By modern standard, treating your family like that would get you locked the fuck away for a very long time. Yet I named my son after this fuck-tard because I thought he was so amazing. He wasn’t. He was a fucking uncaring, psycho moron and I hope I get to tell that to his FUCKING FACE in the afterlife (if there is one) right after I spit in it.

Pioneers where the biggest fucking morons ever

The Pioneer ancestry that those in Utah is like celebrating ancient Christian Scientologists. Americas have a unique ability to paint absolute evil idiocy with honor. Every fucking Mormon pioneer who put the lives of their own families (even CANNIBALIZING them) because they thought God called them to do that is the most unintelligent, idiotic humans who have ever lived. Unfortunately, they also fucked a lot and had polygamy and corrupted the gene pool with their shitting, stupid brains.

Not just our ancestors

My grandmother burned her lips off sucking on the hot exhaust of a running car because the fumes weren’t killing her fast enough. Mormonism turned this wonderful, intelligent, woman into a FUCKING MORON who had no idea even how to kill herself. I defended that shit at her funeral as saying, “we cannot possibly understand her reasons” because suicide is a straight ticket to hell, and frankly, I hope she goes there just to prove how fucking stupid the idea is to send the utterly depressed humans to hell, because that is what dumb-ass Mormons actually believe.

There are other bat-shit, taken-away-in-a-straight-jacket crazy stories from my family who is currently alive. I cannot legally tell them, yet, but I will after they die. God knows they won’t have a problem telling my story the way they conveniently want after I’m dead.

Just happy I survived

At the end of the day I have to write this because, if nothing more, I am taking this family line into a place of positivity and light where it was in utter darkness before. I’m very happy to say that my children, for the most part, are so much more balanced than any of their ancestors, that they have managed to break away in their own wonderful ways, and that I have been there for them in whatever way they needed. I survived. Now it’s time to be grateful and make the best of the rest of our lives.