The last thing I want to be in this life is a financial burden on my family and society as I age simply because I have been willfully negligent with my personal health. There is no fucking excuse for being unhealthy. It’s about overcoming the challenges we’ve all been given and setting personal priorities. Lately, I’ve been personally reminded of the sin I’ve fallen into more than most over the past five years, the most politically correct sin of our time: gluttony. Gluttony is really two other sins combined: greed and pride.
I admit. I do judge people (including myself) who give in to gluttony and make excuses for their obesity while depending on the rest of us to pay for them later. Sure some people struggle more with health issues for which they are not responsible at all but, let’s face it, most people are very aware—some even proud of—their negligent, disgusting state of health and fitness. I never want to be guilty of that sin again. Nothing destroys my self-confidence more than knowing I have neglected this top priority in my life. It’s not really about looking good in the mirror (although that helps). It’s not about vanity. It’s about knowing I’ve let myself, my body, my society, and those who love and care for me, all down.
So many people profess a belief in God while throwing God’s greatest gift in the fucking garbage. Later they beg that same God to remove their pain and suffering completely ignoring the consequences of their own willful failures. Some of them burn their lips on the exhaust pipes of old cars sucking down the exhaust faster so they can “be with their loved ones” faster. Some of these people actually make fun of people taking care of themselves, creating an entire sub-culture dedicated to celebrating their gluttonous mediocrity blaming their false justifications always on others, society, girls who won’t date them, their family, and everyone else but themselves. As much as I hate admitting it, I totally and completely agree with Jordan Peterson on the points he makes about personal responsibility. People seem to have forgotten what it means to excel, achieve, and be responsible for themselves. Gluttony and mediocrity are en vogue.
Not me, not anymore. I’ve never been more committed to getting as fit as humanly possible and maintaining that level for the rest of my life. I want to return to “God” able to report on what I have done with the body, talents, and opportunities I have been given. I want to stand-tall when asked how I spent my time knowing I didn’t waste it away on stupid, meaningless shit even if sometimes that time was just spent thinking about what the inside of my hands, arms, legs, and body actually feels like; that I focused actively reducing the suffering of others while in the endless pursuit of knowledge and learning; that I was able to be still and present without necessarily requiring hope to drive my progress and yet still progressing. God or not, with my last lucid thought I want to be able to know I lived the best life I could. It’s not about a score card. It’s about conscience and consciousness, being at peace.
Right now I am at peace, perhaps more than I’ve been in a decade. I have returned to a level of health and fitness I forgot was possible. I’m happy, joyful, focused, and more aware than ever. It feels amazing and I don’t want this feeling to go away. Then again, maybe it’s just all the carbs I’m eating. I cannot control others. I cannot fix the world. But I can take responsibility for myself and help others who are trying to do the same.