Wednesday, January 18, 2023, 1:21:38AM EST
Today was a disaster. My health is completely crashing. Iāve definitely over-trained. I fucking hate being 55 (with regard to my health). I have to take it slower, but Iām not going to stop, damn it!
Tuesday, January 17, 2023, 9:15:05AM EST
Yesterday I did only one sun A. But I biked a ton the day before, which was my āyogaā for that day. Could hardly walk after. It was glorious.
Friday, January 13, 2023, 9:13:50PM EST
Yoga today was pretty fun. I left the TTS on and was able to hear the comments coming in from the stream. Doris was cooking in the other room and we chatted while I did yoga. We had our old playlist from when we were on our honeymoon in Asheville. She even mentioned it reminder her of when she would make salsa while I did yoga in the other room. The music makes all the difference for me. In fact, I know Iām suppose to be all focused and concentrating on the breath, but fuck it. I want to have fun. I prefer the rave-party-yoga vibe with really fun music on while I go through the poses. For some reason it helps me not take it so seriously. I get all serious when I do yoga and sometimes even get more stressed out because I canāt hit poses. I know in my mind that this is totally not the way to be, but itās a struggle. The music gives me something to focus on and remember that itās all just fun. Itās all good. Then, when my wife says something, or teases me, or interrupts me I donāt bark at her. I smile instead.
Wednesday, January 11, 2023, 4:43:48PM EST
Woah, has it really been a week since I last wrote in the log? That explains a lot. Feeling a lot stronger, but today I had a sudden intense headache. Kinda scared the shit out of me. I mean, I donāt think Iām a stroke candidate, but I am 55. I can think of fewer things in life that I would want to endure than losing all my mobility and mental acuity just to become someoneās ward to take care of for the rest of their lives. Iām gonna schedule a physical. They say you should āget a physical before doing anything intenseā and I do pretty intense yoga, and it has been something like a half a year since I did anything physical at all. If nothing else, need to get the BP checked. Someone made a joke about ābig dick energyā but I tell you want, this feels like the opposite of that. But, imma own this one way or another.
Thursday, January 5, 2023, 4:13:42PM EST
Better. Maybe itās the sun outside. Maybe itās not having my wife āassistā me. ;) Managed a back-bend today, not pretty, but strength coming back to do them. Biggest challenge now is my fucking fat in the way.
Oh, I had my āraceā meal an hour before and it totally worked. Itās almost like my body has dialed into it over the decades:
Best PRs of my life came after that meal. So weird that there isnāt much to it.
Tomorrow is a full moon day. Day after that is Saturday. So, Iāll do some Saucha tomorrow. Saturday, will be doing Bhakti by helping others get a practice started if they want one. Iām still the king of cringe, but what the hell, if even a single person starts a personal practice because of my fat ass it will have been worth it.
Wednesday, January 4, 2023, 5:30:00AM EST
Wife talked my ear off during all of it. Which was probably good because I was absolutely wiped out. I think it might be a moon day that I just donāt know. I feel the ātideā is out. I did manage a headstand today though. Wife gave me a Shavasana assist that was glorious.
Tuesday, January 3, 2023, 9:19:37PM EST
This morning the sky was orange out the window when I woke so I walked to a field and meditated for a bit. I took the Twitch community along with me for the ride. It was a very nice sunrise. Iām going to try and do that every morning. Just such a great way to start the day. Worth the time spent.
Todayās yoga was tough! My body doesnāt recover like it once did. The load from the last two days has caught up with me. I made it through about 30 minutes, but after the sun salutations I was toast. I did some version of most of the half-primary poses, but even that was hard. I really donāt want to blow all this momentum by pushing too hard. I have to remember Ahimsa.
I did practice some great Bhakti yoga at sunset. The overcast skies kept the sun from shining through, so we met Jose, the owner of a local restaurant and my neighbor, it turns out. I had an amazing enchilada dinner, a couple beers, and some great conversation with my neighbor, his brother Carlos, and co-worker Mula. The community was really welcoming. I was smiling ear to ear not wanting it to stop. But, just so exhausted.
Monday, January 2, 2023, 2:52:12PM EST
Second day in 2023 and feels amazing. This doing yoga in front of people is freaking me out a bit, but Iāll get over it. Itās kind of good training for non-attachment. If I can continuously get my fat ass on stream doing yoga and be okay with all of it I will have mastered one of the most important parts of yoga. Besides, if even a single person starts their own yoga practice because of my public suffering and failures then the world will be that much better off. Itās fucking worth it. Iām just a crusty old man trying to improve his healthy. Cringe be damned.
I almost made it through half-primary today. The sloppiest shit ever, but I fucking showed up. Just showing up is more than half the battle. I have to keep listening to my heart rate because Iām definitely pushing it. Donāt want to have a coronary on stream (although that would be great for views, as if I gave a shit about that). I noticed last year that I pushed myself too hard with yoga and had to pull back which eventually meant I stopped, not this fucking year, no fucking way, if all I do is casually try to hit the poses imma keep doing it no matter what! Thereās too much at stake, most of all my sanity in what is about to be one fucking crazy world (2024 will be presidential elections). As members of my stream reminded me, ābe the change you want to be, in the worldā.
I had three beers after yoga and got very nostalgic and weepy again (even before the beers). Crazy how yoga does that to me every time. Thereās gotta be a scientific reason associated with it.
I created a zet for the Ashtanga limbs and studied their meaning again. I want to start reflecting on theme every time I do a log just to keep myself in a good place.
Sunday, January 1, 2023, 9:00:00PM EST
Time might be off, forgot to log it back then. I had a burrito and beer from the local gas station while live streaming before I did yoga and was surprised it didnāt affect me more. Felt so amazing afterward. I didnāt make it through more than like 20 minutes. I think just getting the Sun As and Bs in was a huge win given that I havenāt done any fucking yoga for more than a year. Iām gonna come back.