I had a late night (mostly because of drinking Brandy and not being able to sleep) so when my wife brought be coffee in bed I really appreciated it. It’s been a while. Then I fell back asleep and woke in screams as I spilled the scalding hot fresh coffee all over my armpit while laying down.
When I jumped up in bed I smacked my head on the reading lamp.
Then, because I started Yoga again yesterday, my right shin locked in a cramp and would not stop from the shock.
There I was getting scalded and trying to get the cramp to stop at the same time doing a contorted dance in my jammies.
I was pretty loud. I want to believe I didn’t scream like a 12 year old, but I’m quite sure I did. It woke my step son who was trying to figure out what was going on, even my wife couldn’t figure it out. She just saw me dancing around weird and making noises. My tee-shirt was black and no one could even see it. They were frozen in a confused stupor wondering how to help me and I couldn’t communicate.
“Here let me put some aloe vera on it.”
My German wife is less than, um, delicate at most things that was no different. I was not laughing, but I wasn’t mean. I nearly puked from the pain (‘cuz I’m a wimp). So I curled up in a weird ball on my cozy couch and just tried not to focus on the pain. No yoga today it seems. Putting my arm down a slight bit causes all that burned flesh to touch itself.
I have to laugh now, at least I can, it wasn’t funny when it happened, like something out of Home Alone. I guess today the Universe thinks I’m a “filthy animal” for some reason. I suppose I am.
/me takes a sip of fresh coffee
Tags:
#funny #stories #coffee #pain