I have seen an increase in zombie attacks on my Twitch stream of late.
“Zombies?” You say?
Yes, zombies. You see zombies are diseased piles of maggoty filth that were once completely loving, normal human beings but are now controlled entirely by a virus that has taken over their entire body. They seek out brains because they don’t have any left. The disease has completely consumed their own brain, leaving only their basic motor functions in tact (and not much of that even). Zombies are reckless, stupid, easily identifiable, and stink like if a dog shit on a dead cat. My point is, you know a zombie when you encounter one. Most of the time you can just (metaphorically) shoot it in the head and go about your day.
True trolls, on the other hand, are completely undetectable until you are right on top of them and they are about to be devoured you after they beguile you with their evil-spell casting ability. They live under bridges where there are a lot of phish passing by so they can be selective about their trolling targets. Unlike zombies, trolls have huge fucking brains that they use to make calculated decisions in order to manipulate you into doing their bidding without you even knowing it. Trolls are so good at magic they can create the illusion that they aren’t even ugly at all, that they are your best friend, your lover, even your own mother. Trolls have a society in place where they give reputation to one another based on the other trolls trolling skills. Trolls are undetectable. They never stink. A good troll is completely undetected even as they are dining on your liver. In fact, you might even offer them your spleen to go with it.
So you see the difference is very obvious to those who know the difference. It’s easy to shoot a zombie and move on with your life. You might laugh your ass off at how stupid they are, even have a competition killing them off in creative ways (like ever Zombie movie ever). But trolls, well, most of the time you will never know you were trolled. Only the most self-indulgent trolls will even tell you that they trolled you before they finish you off.
What I’m trying to say is simple, stop using the word “trolling” for zombies. You are giving trolls, good and evil, a very bad name. In fact, instead of saying, “Don’t feed the trolls” the better saying is, “Stop playing with the zombies” because you might get some of their blood in your mouth and become one.
Will anyone follow this council? Probably not, people use language however they want, and I will do the same. Besides, most of the people who behave this way have proven how fucking tiny, nearly non-existent their brains are, I refuse to compliment them for having any brain at all. You can if you want, not me.
#trolls #zombies #rants